The Roses
I went shopping the other day to buy a few necessities and saw that the grocery was getting rid of some rose stock. Two dozen, all colors of the rainbow, for only $10 (score!). Being a practical man I saw an obvious benefit to an inexpensive and unexpected two dozen roses. So I grabbed them.
I got home, clipped the ends, and I put them into a vase. Roses always go over well. I went into my office and pondered how I would redeem my brownie points. Unfortunately, every plan has a fatal flaw, especially in a house with cats and kids.
The cat thought only one thing, “he bought me a salad”. He was happy. He promptly ate his salad then apparently decided to see if he could find creative spots to vomit it back up. A nice floral pattern, of course, they were multicolored roses. Remember, I’m still sitting in my office, completely oblivious.
This is how it went when my girlfriend got home.
She takes off her shoes and steps in cat puke. I think the cat vomited on everything (I imagine that he ate more than the recommended daily allowance of roses for a cat). He even vomited from a beam ten feet up onto everything below. Yes, eewww.
The kid comes running out “Mom, Steve got a bunch of roses for only $10 (he said they were a score) and Oliver ate them then threw up everywhere. I tried to stop him.” I’m still sitting in my office, completely oblivious. I guess I needed to be kept in the dark about it until Mom could be shown.
It didn’t go quite the way I’d planned.
